But WAIT, THERE’S MORE…

Ever watch those goofy game shows? It may have been The Price Is Right, but contestants earned the right to pick “DOOR NUMBER 1, 2 or 3”…and then the fun began. Do you want to trade this for that? It might be a great trade UP, or…not.  If you happened to choose the best door, the announcer would explain the chosen prize with such excitement, “BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE…”

THAT was the first thing that popped into my brain this morning as my Oncologist told me the results of my bone marrow biopsy. Yes—I DO have cancer in my bone marrow. (No wonder I kept “flunking” the darn blood tests!!) More metastatic breast cancer cells: 10-15%. “BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE…” Yes, another unrelated cancer—rare, “MDS” which can lead to a kind of leukemia. (But WAIT…) Unfortunately, the other metastatic breast cancer that pretty much covers my bones is the priority cancer to treat, AND (wait, there’s more) to treat the newly discovered cancer actually can make the first cancer worse. Did I pick the wrong door or what??? I really DID win the “Booby Prize!” In triplicate!

Interesting how God works immediately…before my appointment, a friend had “messaged” me to ask my favorite devotionals, so I’d promised after the appointment, I’d look up and send her my list. Unlike most people, I do not keep said books all in one area, rather spread here and there around our home. (Random Access Filing method???) So, appointment over, full of not-such-wonderful news, I scurried here and there collecting the devotional titles. I grabbed one book and out popped a message, straight from God to ME! An antique postcard that said, “Perfect Peace—And at such a time.” Ezra 7:12

When God sends a message, you don’t question how—you just GRAB on—it’s a lifejacket in an overwhelming flood. “You will keep in PERFECT PEACE, him [or her] whose mind is steadfast, because [s]he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord Himself, is the Rock eternal.” Isaiah 26:3-4

I might mention that the book of Ezra is about the first few of God’s people back to the promised land after one of their captivities. (They messed up often—just like me!) They arrived in Jerusalem and it was a mess, the city gates were a mess, the temple was a mess, their lives were a mess, and yet, the King of the land of their captivity had been so moved by God that he blessed the returnees with everything they might need to re-establish their beloved city. I could not find this phrase on the postcard in any of those Ezra chapters (misprint???)—but in contemplating this body of mine (a mess!) God took me to the Isaiah passage where there IS the assurance of His peace—just stay focused on Him. AND—there’s a whole lotta rebuilding to do, but HE, the KING has graciously given me everything I need to persevere.

I AM in perfect peace. Yup—admittedly my brain is still a bit scrambled with all the latest developments—but, “It is WELL with my SOUL”. (Google that old hymn if you don’t know it, it’s lovely!) I KNOW where I’m going and that is the BEST “door” of all. (Check out Phil. 3:13-14 or James 1:12)  But wait, there’s more! May God pour out His grace to us, whatever is happening in our lives.

Thank you for your good thoughts and prayers. Hooray—I did pass the Covid test ( it was required for those little mini-surgeries I had last week. The biggest issue was SO much sedative 2 days in a row—I was like a drunken sailor!!) Many ask how you can pray—pray I will be brave, stay focused, hang onto God’s peace (AND JOY—even in the battle) AND pray that God will not waste any suffering that is allowed in my life, rather that it would glorify the One Who continually holds me and gives me hope.

Love to each of you, Incwarrior, aka, Kathy

Warriors, or Hurry Up & Wait

 

Howdy Dear Ones!

From “Hurry up and wait…” to “My dance card is full!”…I have felt such LOVE and SUPPORT from you all! Thank you! Not only do you encourage me, but some of you have shared prayer needs and it’s a delight to have some further purpose as well as to just connect. I also love your updates, adventures and how you’re dealing with life in general. Found the post below as shared by a friend—thought it was hilarious and so here YOU go…

It DOES seem like lots of this cancer is “hurry up & wait”—take a blood test, hurry up & wait for the results, bone marrow biopsy—the same, start the oral meds, stop the oral meds, start chemo, then back to waiting. Whatever! Before any surgeries at my medical place, they do require a Covid-19 test…that was last Friday and then I was told that I needed to “swear that oath of solitude” until the surgery, then back into solitude until chemo starts. Then, we’ll see. I suspect it depends on how well I am passing those tests.

So—after lots of waiting, the DANCE card has been full lately—the Friday “tests”, Monday’s mini-surgeries or “procedures” as Rich called them. I now have been biopsied in the bone marrow—much less painful than I ever suspected!!! Yay! AND—as the nice surgeon said—my “Bogo” surgery—installing a port. That has been a bit more noticeable! In fact, I think they should call it a PORTHOLE, like on a ship. The bigger deal was what yesterday’s nurse referred to as “conscious sedation”. Wow, while I could talk and interact verbally during the procedures, but when I got back home after 4 hours almost on the nose, I proceeded to sleep for the whole rest of the day. Then zonk out all night as well. It felt like quite a binge! Or meeting a Mack Truck in a dark alley.

Today is my first day of 3-6 months of weekly chemo.  Then, of course it will require more waiting to see if it’s effectively shrinking the tumors. As my dear friend called it, “taming this cancer”. Meanwhile, let’s all keep safe “until the pestilence is purged from the land.” We are all warriors together—no matter what our battle. And I am keeping my sword strapped to my side. In fact, I am staying armed with the “Whole Armor!”

¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. ¹⁸And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying…Ephesians 6:11-18

Love from incwarrior, aka, Kathy

What Are You Planting?

We grew up in an era and area where everybody gardened. It was our “summer task” as kids to help pull weeds and eventually harvest lots of lovely veggies.  Of course, lots were “put up”—canned, for winter consumption. Tomatoes, green beans, corn, potatoes and lots more.

Remembering the bounteous crops, a few years ago, we bought a seed packet of “Gourmet Lettuce Mix”. We happened to have a lovely bed all ready. (Just don’t ask about the 144 strawberries plants that were supposed to be growing there!) We planted and watered, and eventually lettuce actually grew and thrived!! We had a marvelous, long-lasting crop of mixed lettuces!

With those memories and more, I still love a little growing project. NO big gardening for me anymore, but I’ve sprouted avocado seeds, radish- or carrot-tops and a sweet potato plant that lived for over two years. My favorite spot for this activity is by my kitchen sink, so I can keep the plant moist and watch the progress.

My latest growing experiment came shortly after Valentine’s Day. I’d received two lovely bouquets of roses in some fabulous colors—who wouldn’t love those in a yard?  Earlier, I’d seen a way to propagate roses from a piece of the stem. It looked so simple. I’d give it a try! I needed some small potatoes—one per stem piece. Trim off the excess woody part, leaving a couple of nodes, poke a small hole in each potato, dab a drip of honey on the bottom of each rose stem then insert into the potato. Bury the potatoes in soil. No need to water as each potato contains enough moisture to encourage rooting AND, as the potato rots, it provides fertilizer for the growing plant. EASY-PEASY! We should see growth on the stem after two months. I couldn’t wait!

 

The bouquets eventually dried up and I sprung into action, carefully choosing one stem of each luscious color. The first few weeks, the rose stems continued to resemble 3 sticks. But time passed and I began to keep a close watch for growth. The countdown was on! No signs of life.

So, ONE morning I was shocked to see something. I inspected it closely and sure enough, there were sprouts, but not on the sticks. For all practical purposes the rose stems looked like the aforementioned strawberry plants—dry and dead. No, I knew what these plants were—potato plants!!

What are YOU planting? We have lots of choices! You may remember a prayer from St. Francis of Assisi. This is my version and my reminder! Lord, make us instruments of Your peace. Where there is hatred, let us plant love; where there is injury, plant forgiveness; where there is darkness, plant light; where there is sadness, plant joy.

 Often I feel as if, in this second cancer battle, that I have become unproductive. A few days ago, in the grip of some awful pain, I could pass for a “dead stick”—no growth. But this isn’t where the story ends. 2 Tim. 1:12 (again Kathy’s words) “Even in suffering, I don’t need to be ashamed. No, but why? Because I know the One in Whom I put my trust and committed my very life. HE is the One who convinces me daily that HE will guard all I ‘planted’ in Him until the day we meet face to face.” In Isaiah 55:10-11, God has another example, “As the rain and snow come down from heaven and do not return to it without watering the earth…so is my word that goes out from my mouth; it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and will achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Soon and very soon there will be a bounteous crop! Our main job is simply to “bloom right where we are planted and soak up the living water of God’s word.” He KNOWS what He is planting!! I’ve staked my life on it!

PS. I’ll let you know if a rose ever grows out of those dead sticks. Otherwise you’re all invited over for POTATO SALAD!! And meanwhile, my pain is much better and the cancer journey will NOT be wasted.

By Incwarrior,

AKA, Kathy Woodward

May 29, 2020

 

Broken

It’s one of “those days”—we all have them—they may stretch out over weeks or even years. It’s a season when life just doesn’t work, you are frustrated, or in pain, exhausted, overwhelmed. It may be as adorable as a two-year-old, or as lethal as a terminal disease. Perhaps you’re lonely, unappreciated, unsupported or unloved. Ouch! You may fill in your own blank.

I am having one of those days. The pain is not quite to excruciating, but—here at the front of a medication cycle—cancer raises its ugly head, shrieks, “Attack” and grabs me in places I’ve never before had pain. It’s greedy and needy, demanding all of my attention, daring me to resist. It hurts. It keeps me awake, it’s painful to sit, stand, or recline. Lest you think I’m complaining, I am not. Just stating facts. I know I have company, even though your pain may come from a different source.

Pain has a way of zooming in and insisting on being the center of your focus. It makes one feel BROKEN. Like the pottery dish, it is rendered useless; sharps shards ready to slash when one tries to pick up the pieces.

I refuse to succumb! I will peer around the edges of my pain and find something good, something positive, and something beautiful. This morning I watched a small bird enjoying a feast of suet in my back tree. A neighbor sent me a cute card, reminding me she was praying. Another friend called…just to say hi. Look around! What do YOU see? Yes, those are all from the hand of God and while it takes effort and faith, it’s so worth it! But wait, there’s more! There is still purpose in life. Ya gotta look.

The Japanese teach us a lovely lesson. Rather than discarding that which is broken, they mend it; they do NOT try to disguise the broken lines, as I might do, rather they use gold and highlight it. The process is called Kintsugi. The art of kintsugi teaches that broken places will become a thing of beauty rather than garbage. The “flaw” reveals past history, which makes the object (or person) all the more beautiful.

If you think about it, God, who sees to the heart of us, knows us intimately and is keenly aware of our “broken places” and flaws. Thankfully, He is not a God Who discards the broken; rather He chooses to redeem them. “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you good and not evil, plans to bring you a hope and a future.” (Jer. 29:11) Whooo Hoooo!!! That’s fantastic news! His own mark, His Holy Spirit, is put inside of those who love Him and call upon His name. You could say it is Jesus Himself Who shines through our broken places. As my cracks increase, may His light shine through even more!

Look around, the world we live in is bent, broken and mutilated! WE are broken! God’s word tells us “all of creation is groaning, as in the worst pain of childbirth…” (Romans 8:22) While we may not know the extent of creation’s complaint, I know I am groaning too.

Even more lovely is the promise that this life is NOT in vain; it opens the door to eternity when all of our “tears will be wiped away” (Rev. 21:4), our sadness and pain will be erased, our darkness will be made light and our JOY will be complete. Even better, we will be made whole, perfect and absolutely gorgeous! (This promise is looking better and better all the time!)

Meanwhile, believe, hold on to His promises and know “these troubles are momentary in the light of eternity.” (2 Cor. 4:17). Lacking the faith to do it? We all wobble at times, but ASK God to reveal Who He is to your heart. He will answer.

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” (2 Cor. 4:8-9)

We are HIS!

Incwarrior

 

Broken, 1st Chapter

        The Inside Story of Humpty’s Disobedience

Photo from my father-in-law’s Mother Goose Book, circa 1916

“Passst…here I am. No, look UP—on the top of the wall. Yup—that’s me, Humpty Dumpty. The fearless, the brave, the big Kahuna! By the way, whatever you do, DON’T tell my mom. She’s such a party-pooper, always warning me NOT to climb (“You might fall!”), NOT to forget my jacket (“You might get cold, then catch a cold…”) NOT to run ahead of her, to always look both ways, etc, etc, etc. If I did everything SHE said, I’d never have any fun!

Of course, I go ahead and do what I want. I can always talk her into letting me off the hook anyway.

By the way, the view up here is spectacular! You can see for miles and miles. That may be the next village! And I can just get a glimpse of the turrets on the King’s castle. Ahhhh, I love a good adventure, especially when there’s a bit of a thrill attached.

Ooohhh, there’s a nice breeze too. I think Mrs Eggo is baking, maybe I’ll walk by her house on the way home. (Humpty’s tummy gives a rather loud growl.) She’s always good for a nice snack if I look hungry enough, even if it’s right before dinner.”

“Hummm,” Humpty muses to himself,  “how AM I going to get down?  It WAS a little tricky to get up, but I was able to grab a branch of that old oak tree by the wall. I barely made it up before I heard a big “CRACK” –well, I grabbed the bricks at the top of the wall and was able to hoist myself up. But, now…there’s no branch to use.

Maybe I can just hold on with one hand, twist around and grab on with my other hand and lower myself down. Oh, my, it’s still a long ways. Don’t forget, I am brave and fearless! Besides, it’s getting late. I haven’t seen anyone heading down the lane for a long time. The villagers must all be home from work. I could be in a lot of trouble if my dad is there and I’m not!

Okay, Humpty, just go ahead and try. Don’t think about the worst thing that could happen. Oh-oh, now that’s ALL I’m thinking about. But I can’t stay here and mom will have a snit-fit if she finds me up here. So, here goes nothing…”

With great effort, Humpty twisted around, scraping his knee as he turned, holding onto the rough brick with one hand and skinning his knuckles on his other hand in his haste to get a handhold. With just the tips of his fingers Humpty lowered himself gingerly, but, of course he was quite a hefty egg—a Jumbo grade, if you will. With arms stretched as far as he could, fingers grasping precariously onto the ledge, Humpty could feel himself slipping. He gave a desperate cry as his rotund body plunged into thin air.

“EEEEEEEKKKKK!”

CRACK! It was the second crack of the day, but poor Humpty didn’t hear this one.

You know the rest of the story—when the King’s Men happened up the Lane, there was nothing they could do. His mother had been frantic, but as much as she had looked, she couldn’t find him and had returned home only to see those King’s men waiting for her with the horrible news. She was inconsolable. Poor Humpty—disobedience has a steep price.

Ephesians 6:1-3, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

QUESTIONS:   Can you remember a time when you were purposefully disobedient? Were there any consequences? A more important question is, DID you learn the lesson?  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As a young parent, I learned to pray for parental discernment, but also to allow our children to get caught when guilty. Jumping to their rescue and defending them from every little thing did them no favors. In fact, learning those smaller, less lethal lessons early will help them figure out how to take responsibility for their own actions, and begin to develop the thinking skills to imagine potential consequences before choosing a dangerous or foolish move. I learned to recognize willful disobedience as opposed to ignorance. (Yes, WE are responsible to keep them safe when their level of judgment is not yet developed, but that is different than enabling or excusing bad behavior.)

Psalm 119:71, “It was good for me to be afflicted, so that I might learn your decrees.”

 Author’s note: All who are broken are not disobedient. They may have made poor choices; they may be victims of another’s disobedience. They may have forgotten or foolishly not listened, or been subject to an accident. Look around, we LIVE in a world that is bent, broken and mutilated. We’ve been hard on this place and it’s taking a toll.  Also be aware there are also kinds of “Broken” that do not show! Stay tuned for more installments!

Love, Kathy

January 13, 2020

 

 

 

 

 

In Our Beginning

This was written in honor of our 50th Anniversary…so as our special year draws to a close, I have permission to share this bit of rhyme. Happy 51st, honey–you’ve put up with a lot over the years, but it is truly better than I could have asked or imagined!!

In Our Beginning

 

Who’da thought a pot and pan

Could lead you to the perfect man?

But kitchen work in old Oak Hall

Introduced me to a guy so tall.

The kitchen job was to provide

My Room & Board, not be a bride!

College was always, oh so pricey;

Without that job, my future dicey.

 

So work I did, day out and in.

Assignments might be “racking dishes”

Breaking eggs, or cleaning fishes.

Peeling potatoes, mopping the floor

Felt like Cinderella & so much more.

Scrape off leftovers, clean the tables

All who worked there had to be able.

Fill girls’ plates, or clean the fans;

And don’t forget the pots & pans!

 

That’s the key to this story!

 

T’was there I met him, tall and nice

With just the right amount of “spice”

When I read my quarterly spot

I thought I’d hate it—what a snot!

But HE was there, so life didn’t end!

And lucky me, he became my friend.

We both had “steadies”, so no pressure;

We worked & talked just for pleasure.

 

Friendship first was wonderful!

 

Lots in common, shared lots of laughs,

While giving pots their bubble baths.

Once he asked what I did with my days,

Seems he & his friend had parted ways.

Coincidentally I, too, was free.

My guy had broken up with me!

So FREE we were to have some fun

A new relationship had begun.

 

Take it slow, let it grow!

 

We went to movies & out to dinner,

“Farm” group parties—this guy’s a winner.

Spaghetti supper, with some friends,

As our time together came to an end.

He’d graduate soon, then into the Service,

An Air Force Lieutenant—he was nervous!

I knew that he had to go away

Even though I wanted him to stay.

 

What happened next, you ask, how’d it end?

Did you see him again? Oh YES, my friend!

 

Letters and phone calls & trips were taken,

He kept in touch, I wasn’t forsaken.

Our “like” grew roots, our love sprouted.

(To think we ever could have doubted!)

One year left to complete my degree,

After that, we’d both be free.

But, there comes a time not to linger,

So soon a ring was on my finger.

 

Where’s there’s a will, there’s a way.

 

Details worked out well, and beside,

I’d finish my degree as a new bride.

June 8 the date, we’d tie the knot

Corydon, my town, would be our spot.

Our folks and family and friends all came.

(The town may never be the same!)

The rest, proverbially, is history.

The very beginning of our love story.

 

NOT the end, rather…The Beginning

 

We lived “on base” & had a ball

Went back to college in the Fall.

A few years teaching at Mad River,

More schooling for both, in our quiver.

Rich got orders for the West Coast;

So movers & parties…Farewell to the Post!

San Jose was our new place to be,

Before we knew it…baby made 3!

 

T’wasn’t long before another

Kathy was now a full-time mother.

We moved from home one to two

Where we’d remain for years 42.

Before we knew it, kids grown & gone;

College over & their families begun.

There were ups & downs along the way

But, so you know, I just have to say…

 

I wouldn’t have had it any other way!

 

To Be Continued……………Happily Ever After.

Happy Golden Anniversary, honey!

 

Thinking of YOU!

kathy

Words. Lots of Words…

I have many—always have, probably always will. I fancy remembering my mom’s first words to me…they were, “SHHHHHHHH.” Probably spoken in church. Do you suffer from an unzipped lip, a sieve brain? Are you a compulsive talker? I am.

Out of a sizable but random collection of sayings comes a favorite…”A closed mouth gathers no foot.” That’s me, one foot or the other—sometimes both—in my mouth. “Foot in Mouth Disease” it’s been referred to. It’s just TOO easy to say the wrong thing, or the right thing at the wrong time. Speaking out of turn, interrupting, planning what to say next—it all keeps me from listening! When one is talking, can one really hear the heart of the other person? I can’t!

When newlyweds, my husband had to get used to his wife’s barrage of words. Typical extroverts tend to think out loud—it’s how we process. It can be overwhelming to those who are “bottom-liners” and if the person is also introverted, a quick escape can become necessary. Is this why “man caves” were invented? It may be why the late Richard Burton quipped to his wife, Elizabeth Taylor, “You have no unspoken thoughts.” The reason I know this is my hubby told me at least twice, maybe more! Harrumph…I resemble that statement!

Rambling comes next—telling so many details that the hearer’s eyes begin to roll back in their head. We can all be guilty of this! If something important is mentioned, it can be buried under the avalanche of thoughts and details. The speaker may wonder why their listener seems so forgetful!

Lecturing is a form of too many words—if you have a tendency to do this, it is guaranteed to keep potential relationships at bay. There is such a thing as explaining something to death! Better make sure the listener even WANTS to hear what is being expounded upon—or better yet, give the “Reader’s Digest Version.”

God has a lot to say about words! This shocked me when I first read some of HIS thoughts on the matter…

Proverbs 10:19 “When words are many, sin is not lacking, but to restrain one’s lips is prudent.” Proverbs 17:28 “Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.” Proverbs 18:2 “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.” James 1:19 “Know this, my beloved brothers (and sisters!!): let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger…” Proverbs 21:23 “Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.”

Ouch…sometimes God steps on my toes to get my attention! These did it! Well, that and my hubby kicking me under the table! I’ve tried to reform, I really HAVE, but like all habits, I need an intervention. Dr. Phil? No…a better way is letting God do the changing. Here’s one of His remedies–it’s a perfect prayer for the “word-a-holic”…Psalm 141:3 “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” It’s what we call, “Sitting on our lips…” giving no judgments, no opinions–unless asked for!

Is it working? Not always, but I know I need to keep practicing overcoming this temptation! Just when it seems like God is making headway, I have a relapse. C.S. Lewis said, “I know all about the despair of overcoming chronic temptations… No amount of falls will really undo us if we keep on picking ourselves up each time. We shall of course be very muddy and tattered children by the time we reach home…”

Communication is one of the top needed skills in a marriage—perhaps in ALL relationships! People who are good at this seem to really care for others. God provides others to help wear off our “prickles” –Iron sharpening iron it’s called in Proverbs 27:17. God IS at work, so what am I to do? Submit to God’s correction. Repent, get up, brush off and keep going. It means using those 3 little words a spouse LOVES to hear, “I am sorry.”

It’s sweet to know God DID create our words and wants us to use them. I just gotta remember to PRAY first, then THINK before speaking… Psalm 19:14 “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Grace to YOU, Beloved! Blessings and don’t give up! I’m not–it’s like any recovery, a process.

Kathy

POWs, Recovery & Cancer

Heard a fascinating POW at Rich’s Veteran’s luncheon. With the thinning ranks of our last few WW II survivors, attention is turning to more recent conflicts: Korea and Viet Nam. While war is an ugly subject, it has amazing stories. This speaker was a Viet Nam POW (Prisoner of War) from 1965 until 1973. He resided in the “Hanoi Hilton” as the “guests” dubbed it. He shared stories, sketches and skills that helped him survive.

While tough to imagine, he painted an all too-clear picture of the hardships. As he spoke, I began to see multiple parallels to being a “Prisoner of Addiction” or a “Prisoner of Cancer” or a Prisoner of Whatever. (What is YOUR prison?)

“How in the world did you make it?” is his most frequent question. “It’s like any sustained hardship”, he replies, “You make it one day at a time.” You’ll hear that in many areas, whether addiction, a long illness or war; it is especially true while in the midst of it.

He offered a few of their “tips” to stay alive. The first, which is SO important, “Ya gotta think like a survivor!” Surviving while going through any hardship can turn on a dime when you have a good attitude. The benefit of a positive attitude is simply being able to hang tough in the present. With a survivor attitude, a hardship—even in his case, torture, became bearable because it was going to pass—even if it were painful. (One of my favorite Bible phrases…”And it came to pass…” It DOES!)

His second survival skill was to stay in the best physical condition possible. Pushups on the ground, aerobic moves around his cell—he wanted to be ready for action. While given only a small meal daily, another POW shared that rats and bugs infested their quarters. When taking the long view of survivorship, they used what was available to stay alive. Yup—they ate ‘em. Protein was not to be wasted. While going through addiction, physical conditioning and healthy eating greatly help that process along. Same for a cancer battle—organic foods, my Oncologist advised. My marvelous—and I might add, pushy Nurse Practitioner—insisted that we participate in a weekly exercise class, then in between classes, to keep moving! She wrote her thesis on this how physical activity positively affects cancer. (Love you, JoAnn!) While I cannot imagine being locked up for years, our POW said all prisoners worked to stay in the best shape by doing whatever they could by using whatever they had. (Are rats organic?)

Mental—tip # 3—our speaker said he challenged himself to memorize things, such other prisoners’ names. That’d prove helpful when they were rescued. He’d work math problems in his head, repeat Bible verses or sing songs to himself—all to sharpen his mind. Addiction recovery was my area of training and this principle plays out in staying sober for the long term. When they arrived, new residents referred to their mental ability as “stinkin’ thinkin.’” I suffered some of that as well while going through cancer—“Chemo-brain.” The fabulous news is that, according to neurologists, our brains are wired to get better, especially when they are challenged. It’s a good guess that ANY kind of trauma can knock your brain for a loop, just as our POW discovered he’d need to be patient and persistent with himself to keep challenging his brain. We can do that too! (Sudoku anyone?)

Another tip, hang onto your faith. The spiritual aspect of suffering—any kind—becomes more bearable if you are not alone. Someone greater—God, will go with you and that can be a huge encouragement! The old saying about “no atheists in foxholes” is true. Desperation can make one very open to God. Songs, stories, verses all may help build faith while going through trials. (Having a tough time? Pray! God DOES answer and He hears you. Sing! Praise! Do a little dance.)

Communication is major skill—it helps one realize others are going through the same trial. (I discovered this when our child turned two—I needed to be in contact with other moms, just to know I was not going crazy!) Our POW spoke of an elaborate system of knocks they used to keep each other updated and appraised of “Hilton Happenings”—including warnings. Staying in contact was a lifeline to each prisoner. Communication is key EVERYWHERE! It was said in our “Marriage Mentoring” classes, that lack of communication is a top reason that marriages fail! Isolation is lethal—as our POW expounded, in prison—and pretty much everywhere else! Communication combats it best and helps nurture the next “tip”….

Community! Relationships are needed by the human spirit. We were created to be with others. (Check out Adam when he saw Eve…pure delight!) Think of areas of life where the presence of a strong community can make a huge difference. Parenting, churches, neighborhoods, even POW camps, recovery programs and cancer treatment wards.

The last two ingredients mentioned were hope and persistence. Survivors can’t give up. Our POW speaker had a family waiting for him—not knowing if he were dead or alive. But they fueled his glimmer of hope and gave him the gumption, in the face of horrible odds, to hang on for dear life. In recovery, it was dubbed, “keeping on keeping on.” As Winston Churchill, in England’s darkest days, said, “Never, never, NEVER give up”!

I have to add one more: gratitude! It helps me so much when in crises—“counting your blessings”, so to speak. In the most difficult of times, in the longest of trials, there are ALWAYS things for which to be thankful which in turn helps keep a positive focus.

In honor of Memorial Day, I want to remember ALL who gave so much, some their very lives, to give us freedom. That IS what this is about—out of bondage, into freedom: from addiction, cancer, a prisoner of war camp or ________________________(you may fill in your own blank—there are a multitude of options that may keep you imprisoned.)

Step by step, you WILL get though, but don’t forget to think like a survivor, keep yourself healthy as possible physically, mentally, emotionally. Look UP—God is waiting and wants to be with you; look out—stay in relationship, keep communicating and keep resisting the enemy. (He has many names!) . Hang on tight and encourage others, while allowing them to encourage you. Keep hope alive. Remember, it’s a battle out there. The movie, Braveheart reminds me why: F-R-E-E-D-O-M. Don’t be afraid to fight.

With Love and Encouragement

Kathy

I Cor. 3:17, “…Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

Stolen Goods OR Praying for Our Children

My handsome dad, as a young man. Word had it that the watermelon was stolen, but I can’t say for sure! I do know by the time I came along, he was known for his honesty and integrity.

Caution, this month contains stolen goods, albeit re-edited and well-used! But, it’s not used up and it’s time to share. Have YOU ever swiped anything? I did. But I always felt so guilty, that I’d either return it, confess, or pay for it–eventually. This may have been one of my last heists before turning over a new leaf.

As a parent, what would YOU do for your child? Anything? Everything? Die? Me too! (and often we DO those things!!) Perhaps you’re a grandparent—we may not have as much input, say or influence, but there is a power that is born of love, rooted in faith, grown with persistence and can transcend distance and time. PRAYER!

Lots of years ago, I was privileged to work with a pre-school Bible Study Fellowship class. Every month they provided a wonderful, helpful page with help about being a Godly parent. My own children were no longer in preschool, but it’s never too late, and we teachers had copies. I diligently applied what I learned each month—call it my remedial work for a poor-parenting start! Gotta love Joel 2:25 which tells us “God WILL repay us for all the years the locusts have eaten” and I’d had a lot of wasted time—locust fodder. (I was a Prodigal for my babies’ first year or two, then a “trying-to-figure-it-all-out, how-do-you-do-this-parenting-stuff-better” Baby Christian, who happened to also be a mommy.)

One month, our handout had 12 monthly prayers for your preschoolers. I went right home, copied them into my prayer journal and started praying for my elementary school-aged daughters. For many years, I prayed these specific requests, changing them as appropriate. Looking backwards, there’s not only the value of these prayers, but the faithfulness of a God who answers them! (Note: although “MOPS” had begun, it was not yet widespread, but has now bolted around the world, including praying for to all ages!—check them out!)

Years after using the page—by then many prayer journals later—one of my kiddos found my prayer list and asked me to PLEASE STOP praying “they’d get caught when guilty”! I think they figured out that God’s eyes are much more effective that those proverbial “mom-has-eyes-in-the-back-of-her-head” pair.

I am so grateful to a God Who knows how to remedy what we mess up and to Bible Study Fellowship for their part—I give both credit for these prayers…stolen at a time when I most needed them! There’s no longer any remembrance of what was in the original text, but I give any of you who wish to have them, my permission to use, share, copy and change. Don’t just stand there—get down on your knees! Quit worrying and start praying! Our kids need it. And our grandkids. And our nieces and nephews…and… You got it!

Love to you, kathy

PS…I often give a copy on pretty paper to new parents or new grandparents–whomever might stand in the gap by interceding in prayer.

                              Monthly Prayers for My Children

 Do not be anxious about anything, but by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made know to God. Phil. 4:6

January: Pray Christ as Savior is known early in life. “Oh God, you’re my God, earnestly I seek You; my soul thirsts, & my body longs for You in a dry & weary land where there is no water.” Psalm 63:1

 February: Give our children a hatred for sin. “Let those who love the Lord hate evil, for He guides the lives of His faithful ones & delivers them from the hand of the wicked.” Psalm 97:10

 March: Let our children be caught when guilty! “It was good for me to be afflicted, so that I might learn Your decrees.” Psalm 119:71

 April: Protect them from the evil one in all areas of life: spiritual, physical, emotional. [Jesus’] prayer is not that God takes them out of the world, but that He’d protect them from the evil one. John 17:15

May: May they have responsible attitudes in all their relationships. “Daniel so distinguished himself…by his exceptional qualities that the King set him over the whole kingdom.” Daniel 6:3

 June: Pray our children will respect those in authority over them. “Everyone must submit himself to governing authorities, for there is no authority except what God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.” Rom. 13:1

 July: Lord, pray our children will desire the right kind of friends & be protected from the wrong ones. “My son, if sinners entice you, do not give into them. If they say, ‘Come along with us, let’s lie in wait for someone’s blood, let’s waylay some harmless soul’…don’t go along with them!” Prov. 1:10-11

 August: Pray our children will be kept from the wrong mates, & saved for the right ones. “Do not be yoked with unbelievers. For what do good & bad have in common? What fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is between Christ & Satan? What do the unbeliever & believer have in common? What agreement is between God’s temple & idols? We are the living God’s temple. God said, ‘I will live with & walk among them, I will be their God & they will be my people. Therefore, come out from them & be separate—touch no unclean thing & I will receive you.’ Says the Lord.” II Cor. 6:14-17

 September: Keep our children pure until marriage, as well as their future spouses. “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins are outside the body, but sexual sins are against your own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, Who is in you, received from God? You were bought at a price, so honor your own body.” I Cor. 6:18-20

 October: Pray that they would learn to submit to God completely & actively resist Satan in all ways. “Submit yourself to God. Resist the devil & he will flee from you.” James 4:7

 November: Pray they will be single-hearted, willing to be sold out to Jesus Christ. “I urge you in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy & pleasing to God, it’s your spiritual worship. Don’t conform to the patterns of this world; be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test & approve what God’s will is—His good & pleasing & perfect will.” Rom. 12:1-2 

December: Hedge them in, Lord, so they can’t find their way to wrong places or people & vice versa. “Therefore, I’ll block his path with thorn bushes; I will wall him in so he can’t find his way.” Hosea 2:6

 

Two-legged Fish

When I eat tuna, I think of Marty. We had tuna salad yesterday, so out popped unbidden thoughts of him. This tribute is for YOU, big guy. Marty was the first one to greet me on the first day I arrived to teach my first class at Cityteam at the drug and alcohol recovery program. He excitedly helped carry my heavy box of classwork into the building. After that, he magically appeared at the right time. Helping was one of Marty’s specialties. He was strong and loved it when anyone noticed; if not, he might brag just a little. Okay, a lot!

One week, he wasn’t there, so when another resident offered, I gladly accepted. Inside, Marty was nowhere to be seen, but within a few minutes, he huffed up and was hopping mad, “You let someone else carry your box and that is MY job” he yelled. Marty was passionate about his work, even if it wasn’t his actual job description! Marty had quite a temper as well.

For weeks, Marty stayed mad at me, pouting and pointedly missing my class. That’s when I knew Marty was a child in a man’s body. The evidence had been piling up—his odd conversations, lack of healthy boundaries and, apparently, a lot of jealousy over his perceived territory.

Marty eventually began talking to me again, beginning with a joke. “Miss Kathy, what kind of fish has legs?” he asked.

I had no idea, so he gleefully revealed, “TWO-KNEE fish! Get it? Tuna fish!” Then he laughed long and hard at his incredibly hilarious joke. He told the same joke for weeks on end, always accompanied by his own gales of laughter. In fact, it may have been our shared laughter that bonded us in a new way, and paved the road for being forgiven. Marty was also passionate about God—so if God said to forgive, then Marty would do it, but not until he cooled off, which could take weeks.

Badly brain-damaged from an auto accident, Marty spent several weeks in a coma in his late teens. He woke up a different person. He became impossible to get along with. From then on, Marty experienced lots of rejection, with little love. His family finally cut off ties with him. He was awkward, brash, loud, temperamental, opinionated, uncooperative, competitive and demanding, to name a few. Another specialty was the ability to irritate anyone! For what he lacked in brainpower, Marty excelled in persistence and focus—like a bulldog with a bone, Marty was intent on whatever was in his path. It’s unknown how long after his accident before he began to “self-medicate” and become addicted to drugs. He was in our one-year residential recovery program. Twice.

The first time he was asked to leave the program, he hit the streets, but continued to sneak into Cityteam headquarters to visit “his” receptionist, Sally, each morning. One day he came in and had been badly beaten, mouthing off to someone who was a lot stronger than he and with as bad a temper. The receptionist called the mission and pleaded with them to give him a second chance. They did.

When he finally graduated, he qualified for federal aid, disability and low-income housing, which his counselor helped him procure. It took him months to transition over to “his place” but eventually he did and liked it. Marty had few skills, other than helping, so he adopted Cityteam, which had become his real home and the staff, his real family. He gladly assisted with odd jobs, carrying heavy loads or running to deliver mail, and walking Sally safely from and to the light rail. He’d be waiting when she arrived and he told her she really needed to give him a big wave. She always did and he’d wave back and race her way. He became a fixture at corporate headquarters with a list of people he liked there: actually, most of the ladies and a few men. There were a certain few he absolutely adored. If he didn’t like you, never mind, he wouldn‘t give you the time of day, even ducking out of sight just to avoid you.

Possessing almost nothing, Marty would still give you—if he liked you and weren’t mad at you—the shirt off his back. He wouldn’t part with his hat, though–it was part of his daily uniform–a beige newsboy hat covered in pins. If you gave him a pin, you knew he’d wear it on his hat for the rest of his life and love you forever. If you wore a cool pin to work, chances are you’d not come home with it. He favored pants, shirts and jackets with lots of pockets, for good reason. He typically carried everything he perceived to have value in a pocket on his person. It might be an old key, a note, a little trinket he found and all of his money. Since he was on SSI, he had only a small income, but he spent almost nothing, rather acted as his own piggy bank. It made for a very lumpy, bumpy, jingle-y Marty! You often could hear him coming by the rattling as he approached. Unless he was sneaking…

When I would take my co-worker (and friend) to headquarters, Marty would be lurking near the reception desk—Sally was a captive audience and He loved talk to her as well as greet new arrivals. My friend, who is blind, was on Marty’s like-list so he took great pleasure in tiptoeing up and planting a big kiss on her forehead. The first time, it took all of us by surprise so we laughed. The game was on! The next time, he was even more rambunctious, and nearly knocked her over—remember, she could not see him! The third time I saw him eagerly awaiting our entry. Before he could pounce, I cheerfully proclaimed, “Good morning, Marty!” He was mad at me for weeks again, because I gave away his secret.

When he finally forgave me, again, my friend and I had to work out a system. On our entry, if Marty were nearby—always with one finger over his lips to “shush” me, I’d flex my arm muscle where my friend gripped my arm. Even through a large coat, she could feel the movement and brace herself for the onslaught. Everyone was stayed upright and was happy. Especially Marty.

One day, as my friend and I arrived, we found Sally crying. The previous afternoon, Marty had been racing to be first to the light rail stop. He dashed across across the tracks without looking, was struck by the train and died instantly. All of Cityteam grieved. He was only 40 years old.

Marty taught us a lot about God. He was slow to anger, but when he lost it, it took a long time to get back in his good graces. (I think the children of Israel could identify with that when they stepped on God’s very last nerve!) Marty was a walking example of God’s grace—His arms are open to the most surprising people! His salvation is available to anyone, no matter how “bent, folded or mutilated” that person is! No one is “trash” to God! To the casual observer, Marty’s life appeared to be without apparent reason. But he wasn’t a mistake! Proverbs 16:4 says, “The Lord has made everything for a purpose.” I can only guess how many lives Marty touched.

We all became better at loving, under Marty’s training. (I had a long way to go when I started and am still learning, but God has been faithful to provide several “hard to love folks” for me to practice Jesus’ love on.) Marty showed us what passion, persistence, faithfulness and generosity look like. Jesus said we must receive God’s kingdom “like a child” if we wants to enter it. (Mark 10:15) Marty did that. God also reminds me “He chose what’s foolish to shame the wise; and what is weak to shame the strong.” (1 Cor. 1:27) Little do many of us know just how foolish and weak we really are. God reminds me of that often through the Martys of the world!

Envision Marty in heaven—he did love Jesus! Marty’s disabilities are gone and he is perfect. He loves and is loved by all there, especially Jesus who has a tender heart for the disadvantaged, disabled, even the obnoxious! (Marty may have nearly knocked Jesus over with his enthusiastic entry through the pearly gates! Can’t you just hear Jesus yelling, “Watch out everyone, here comes Marty!”) I rather think Marty still lurks near heaven’s gate, to welcome newcomers. When my blind friend arrives, though, Marty won’t be able to sneak up and plant a kiss—she will be able to see him with her perfect eyes! Thank you, Marty, for all you taught us.

Next time you have tuna, think of someone in your life who NEEDS to be loved, encouraged or given a chance in life—then do it. You’ll be a better person.

By the way, do you know what fish has legs?

Marty S. Born: December 28, 1959—Died: November 11, 1999, but remembered by many.

With Love, kathy